May 29, 2009 by Robert.

I applied for a job at Google yesterday that I found posted online. I copied-and-pasted parts of my resume into their forms, and then attached a cover letter and a .doc version of my resume according to the instructions.

“Microsoft Word format, huh?” I thought to myself, “That’s awfully magnanimous of them.”

They could have invented an entirely new Google Resume Format (.GRF) and announced it with great fanfare at the latest SXSW. They could have forced prospective Google applicants to find and purchase and register an entire suite of applications, download a bunch of drivers (along with a development kit) in order to install a special Google Resume Tool (included).

Mac format? Forget it — buy a cheap PC. Or an Android phone for that matter. If you were truly serious about working at Google, you’d do it in a heartbeat, right? Er — I mean, you’d already be using an Android.

But no. They didn’t do all that.

Google just instructed me to use the common standard .doc format, which I did. Then they asked me a few optional survey questions — beyond the mandatory racial/sexist questions — which of course I dutifully answered. (What happens if you decline to answer?)

“Have you ever operated a profitable business that was not a technology buisness?” Ha! Good question! Yep, done that.

“Have you ever started a nonprofit?” Hmmm. Another interesting question. Yes — as a matter of fact — yes, I have. (Well, I was part of a group that founded a nonprofit. That counts, right?)

And then they asked me if I’ve ever set a record (local/state/national). And I paused.

And then dread crept over me. “Holy cow — they caught me! Here I was thinking that this was just a survey, answering the questions candidly from memory.” But I now see that they were just messing with me!

Have I ever held a record? Google wants to know if Robert Marston ever held a record? Like they don’t know?

For crying out loud, why would Google ask me for information about me in a job application? What more could Google possibly want to know about me that Google doesn’t already know?

“Crud!” Panic started to set in. “This is no job application survey — it’s fodder for a new database that they’re building. Or worse, an authentication process to see if I’m really Robert Marston! Oops! The casual wording and ease-of-use lulled me into dropping my guard.

“What have I told them already? Have I said too much? I shoulda recorded every one of my answers. If there’s a cross-examination later, I might slip-up under pressure or over-think the answer…”

Ahhh! It’s not fair! They’re way too good!

Then I calmed down and realized that they’re really not asking for information. They’re simply measuring variability in my answers and my ability to recall facts. And probably measuring my typing speed, too, to see if I’m hestitating or slowing down. I wonder what they can tell from all that biofeedback? (I saw the The Matrix — I know how it works.)

They want me to believe that this is a job application like any other. They want it to appear as though it was my idea to apply for this job. And if/when they respond to my so-called application and grant me a so-called interview, I’ll go along with the whole charade. I’ll pretend like I’m a candidate and that I’m being evaluated against other candidates and all that. (wink-wink, nudge-nudge)

As though Google doesn’t already know the outcome.

Awesome. Bring it on — I’m ready.

Posted in just for fun, jobs, Linkedin, development, marketing | 1 Comment »

May 29, 2009 by Robert.

This video is a very clever presentation and whimsical commentary on New Media, posted by Michael Wesch, professor of cultural anthropology at Kansas State University in 2007.Don’t read the comments on YouTube — they’re mostly vulgar spam.I find it humorous to see that the YouTube video attracted a storm of comments *protesting* and *correcting* the author on factual matters, leading the author to post a quick revision and promise a new version “soon.” Ahem.And now the YouTube video is an epithet to good intentions in a web 2.0 world.Notice that the author was also apparently inundated with inquiries about the music in the background. I wonder if that was their intention. Many indy bands have been made famous over the years by licensing their music to be used in videos that “go viral.”Note to self: be sure to prominently credit the source of all content, or at least post a companion website somewhere which leaves a breadcrumb-trail to the information, providing Wikipedia with a verifiable “source.” And remember to use a disposable email address.

Note that the project was:

If only they’d used a more “nimble” tool for producing video, they could have responded more rapidly and continued the conversation (affordably, or even profitably) rather than being overwhelmed/bored/whatever (used-up by The Machine).But it’s still interesting, effective and fun as anthropology, if not profound.Already, the “crowd” has taken ownership, and is advising, crafting, revising, innovating, and even promoting (as I’m doing here). With 9 million+ views and counting, copied-and-translated into many languages, could this “modern antiquity” become a classic?

Posted in media, web 2.0, education, Linkedin, video, design, wordpress, marketing, RSS | 1 Comment »